Basically the last 10 years have been a blur.

For some reason, it seems that I can only learn things after fucking up in the worst possible way.

When I was a kid, I put my hand near the stove, of course my mom popped in to action and said don't do that, and moved my hand away. Sure enough, I ignored her, and sizzle sizzle, stopped putting my hand near the stove.

Repeat that basic experience with razor blades, climbing on the furniture, and effectivily the entire fiscal future of my early, mid and late 20's.

So I'm 30. I think 30 should be defined as the year where you look back on your life, and wonder why someone hasn't killed you for your own good.

To summarize.

Life savings plundered by my dad. (he took around 20k) while I was using that money to pay for college. The bank, 0ne of those small town family establishments bought his arguement that "Oh, I bet he wouldn't mind" poof good bye savings. Meanwhile checks are coming in and bouncing to astronomical heights and the school registrar looks at you like a criminal.

Finished my junior year, 1st semester with 21 hours of incompletes, since they don't let you take your finals unless your bills are paid.

Fast forward about 5 years.
Since University was pretty much out of the question (I still owe them 7k)
I went and took a bunch of IT certification courses. Took another school note out on that.
Dear old dad said that to make amends he'd pay for it while I was in school.

Finished off my MCSE in 2000 in less than 6 months, lept full on into the IT job world.

Dear old dad, again using my name called Sallie Mae the lien holders, and said you know... lets just change this to an interest only agreement. That happend in 10.2005, and Sallie Mae tells me about this change in 1.2006. Go Dad. The last 4000 dollars I've thrown at sallie mae might have well been flushed down the toilet since it never hit my damn principle.

Moving on. IT jobs attack me from all sides.
Took position in home town, making decent earnings for IT guy in that waste bin of culture that was my home town.

Hired away by a company to our regional IT hub. I can't tell you who, but it rhymes with HELL.

Find out dear old dad has been using my information to run up illicit accounts all over the place.

(needed information : Dad clears 250k a year easy... why does he need control over my funds? Thats a whole dr. phil show right there)

Fast foward to 2006. Dad decides he wants to divorce Mom. They've been married 35 years. Dad decides the best way to force mom into a settlement is by starvation. I eat whats left of my credit supporting my mom.

In 2004, my credit was good enough to buy a truck. Foolishly I thought I'd rely on my Dad's superior car buying intellect. Salesman plus dad, talked me into a truck that was literally 10k out of my price range. Why exactly do we have this ingrained need to believe what our parents tell us? Specifically my dad. Cause its taken me 10 years to realize, he doesn't know shit.

So paying on overly expensive truck to the tune of $525 a month, plus another $300 for that full coverage insurance the dealership requires you to have, plus another $250 a week in gasoline.

3 weeks ago, 3 drunken mexican assholes where driving an estimated 70 mph, headed east, when I was driving west, and they decided they wanted to drive east, in the west bound lane.

I'll tell you what though... My truck a nissan titan while totaled, ... I walked away with some minor shock, but ultimately with out a scratch.

I'm sure some of you out there would like to call me a racist for saying that mexicans were driving that truck, and while you could assume in fact that they were mexican, given the complete lack of a drivers liscence in the opposing vehicle, no insurance, and oh what a surprise they tried to flee the scene... I base the mexican labels on the police report listing the last names in the police report as Navarro, Garcia, and Martinez.


So moving on.

Hosed credit, plus destroyed reliable transportation but cash in hand = junker.

So I'm shopping for reliable transportation.
I don't care what it looks like. all I'm concerned with now, is reliability, and decent gas mileage.

It all sounds horrible I'm sure, but I have a decent yearly income, but that damn truck ate up about 1300 a month. Call me crazy, but a third of your monthly income should be your house payment, not your car.

So, now I'll be chronicling my adventures in cleaning up my credit, and trying to stay sane.

Next time:
How to judge junkers (The secret? find someone who knows cars, because I sure as hell don't)

Also, grammar freaks go fuck yourselves. this is raw for a reason.

Thanks.

T-Minus 168 hours and counting...

Okay so technically more like 167 and change, but it's 3:30ish in the morning central standard time.

Some background., Last friday, after finishing what I thought was an exit interview for a company that I was working for, the CEO comes in and says and I'm paraphrasing here...

"Dave, you're a damned genius and I need you in the field., Please stay on, we'll give you a truckload of cash that you won't have to pay taxes on. We'll give you a break 6-7 months into the job for a couple of weeks, and then wrap up the final 6 months..."

So for those of you who I don't know, I'm a civilian contractor, seconded to the United States Department of Defense. I can't tell you what project I'm working on, or specifically where, but I can tell you I'm going to be in Iraq in a little less than a week.

And for you sticklers of grammar, I use commas as though I were pausing while speaking. If you don't like it, go do something unpleasant to yourself, this is my Blog!

I currently weigh in at 284.2 lbs. but I carry it well, so people always guess in the 220's.
I've fought my wieght my entire adult life. So the secondary title to this blog will be

The Bagdhad Weight Loss Program.

~Sweat off the pounds in continuous 150 degree heat!~

My plan is to lose 100lbs.

I'm gonna post a couple of before pictures, from my sister's wedding. Believe it or not, I weigh less now, than I did then. Of course for the wedding she had me in a white tux jacket for that expatriate casablanca wedding feel... So optical illusions, or color clashes aside, I looked like some sort of beached aquatic mammal. Add the bow tie, and I look like the linux penguin on crack... (let's be fair here, I'm talking crack rolling in crisco and deep fried in fatback) So as you can tell from my bitter cynicism, I'm not particularly fond of the whole weight thing.

So I've got my workout scheduale, a completely alien diet, an 84-96 hour work week, and ridiculous heat... now if I could only find some tape worm eggs, I might just have a chance...

Cheers,

-Dave.